"You can't do everything." My mom used to tell me that all the time growing up. For me, it's always been difficult to choose between options. Some people are quick decision makers; I'm not. I deliberate until the decision is made for me. I hate that choosing one thing means saying no to everything else. But that's the nature of choices. That's the point; you have to choose. You can't do everything.
I want to go on the Tibet vision trip this summer with Matt Fries, July 13-28. Just today, however, I found out that I may have to take some prerequisite classes before starting grad school in the fall. I spoke with someone from Denver who said the class they offer this summer, which covers those prereqs, starts May 29 and runs through August 2! That means, if I took the class through them, I would have to move before May 29! That's two months away. In the words of Eisley, I wasn't prepared for this. I was planning on moving after Gennie's wedding (July 7) and after Tibet.
And I haven't even heard from the other three schools yet. CU needs to know by April 7, accept or decline. I also have to submit scholarship and financial aid apps to them before Friday (via fax). There is much weighing on me lately in regard to everything in front of me. I need an intervention, or at least people to intercede for me.
**update: i just received an email from the university of texas--i've been denied initial admittance but been wait-listed for review april15-may1. an email. that's like your boyfriend breaking up with you by slipping a note in your locker. well, God's clearing away options.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Ben Folds' Jesusland
Take a walk.
Out the gate you go and never stop,
Past dollar stores and workshops,
A quarter in a cup for every block,
And watch the buildings drop
Smaller as you go
Down the tracks.
Beautiful McMansions on a hill
That over look a highway
With river boat casinos,
And you still have yet to see a soul.
Jesusland
Town to town,
Broadcast to each house
They drop your name,
But no one knows your face.
Billboards quoting things you’d never say,
You hang your head
And pray for
Jesusland
Miles and miles,
And the sun’s going down.
Pulses flow from their homes.
You’re not alone;
Lights come on,
As you lay your weary head on their lawn.
Parking lots,
Cracked and growing grass,
You see it all, from offices to farms,
Crosses flying high above the malls
Along the walk through
Jesusland
Out the gate you go and never stop,
Past dollar stores and workshops,
A quarter in a cup for every block,
And watch the buildings drop
Smaller as you go
Down the tracks.
Beautiful McMansions on a hill
That over look a highway
With river boat casinos,
And you still have yet to see a soul.
Jesusland
Town to town,
Broadcast to each house
They drop your name,
But no one knows your face.
Billboards quoting things you’d never say,
You hang your head
And pray for
Jesusland
Miles and miles,
And the sun’s going down.
Pulses flow from their homes.
You’re not alone;
Lights come on,
As you lay your weary head on their lawn.
Parking lots,
Cracked and growing grass,
You see it all, from offices to farms,
Crosses flying high above the malls
Along the walk through
Jesusland
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Well, today is the day, or yesterday rather. Yesterday was the day that I got my first letter back from any of the grad schools. The University of Colorado has offered me a place in their graduate architecture program. As I write this, I'm pausing just a moment to allow that to sink in. I got into grad school. I got into grad school.It's ironic that this is the first school to respond, since it was the last applicaiton due. What's even more ironic is that on Sunday, as I was driving (very safely, I might add) home from Memphis, I was praying about the decisions in front of me, and I decided that the greatest news in the world would be to receive all four letters in the same day and have each of them say "No". What a strange thing to hope for! But it would be the most definitive answer in my seemingly undefined life. Those with whom I've already shared this news ask me if Denver was my top choice. At this point, my top choice is wherever God wants to take me, even if that doesn't mean grad school. Also praying in the car yesterday, I was expressing how it all feels so scary because I feel like July is really close, and I need to know what the next step is so I can make preparations for the plunge--whatever plunge it is. God brought Isaiah to mind, "In the desert, prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken." (40:3-5)
Prepare the way for the LORD, Erin. Make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God. Sometimes I feel like God has taken me into wilderness because the wildness of his character and purposes causes me to reel. I don't know where in the world God is leading, and I don't mean that as a figure of speech. I mean, I literally do not know where on this planet God wants me be after July. Austin, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles, Tibet, Africa or somewhere else I haven't even considered. More than ever, I want to be overseas, but I have lots of practical questions about the venture. A "No" from every school would almost have been a relief, the freedom to suck up my fears, hand them over to God, and freefall into his grace. What a rush!
God, let me hear you say, "This is the way; walk in it".
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
birds and bloopers
So, I'm kind of a mess--but at least I'm honest about it? I'm kind of notorious for making incorrect statements and then swearing by them. It's not like I intentionally lie (although I have been guilty of using exaggeration for dramatic storytelling; in my defense, those exaggerations are really obvious), but it's more like I just get confused when I recall details. It happens pretty frequently actually, and James Miller is usually the one who catches it. That's why he's always right when he argues with me.
Today, I did it during my first ever public speaking engagement, while representing Habitat--yes! I love my life! To really top it off, Hot Mama and Rockstar Jones were there. Shelli asked me to come speak at a club she's member of. I came; I spoke; I bloopered. I was talking about our new subdivision we're building and the one acre of land that it's going up on. One Acre?!?! Rrrrrreeeeeled you in. Apparently one acre isn't as big as I think it is. I don't know; I'm a city girl--I'm sorry, suburbanite. Everyone declared that was utterly impossible. I said, "Well, the lots are really small." right...that makes perfect sense. So, I looked at our brochure. Ummm, almost five acres! Geez. But I think I handled it well. I just laughed at myself. What else can you do?? I think it really added a whole new dynamic to my presentation. I think I might do that every time!
On a total sidenote, a kamikaze bird flew into my office and tried to commit suicide right in front of me by smashing his head into the windows. We finally picked him up with a towel and put him outside (for anyone who is terribly concerned about the bird); I think he's going to be okay. It made me think of the Office, and I laughed hard...once I got through the grief and the feeling of my heart being dropped into a bucket of boiling tears.
Today, I did it during my first ever public speaking engagement, while representing Habitat--yes! I love my life! To really top it off, Hot Mama and Rockstar Jones were there. Shelli asked me to come speak at a club she's member of. I came; I spoke; I bloopered. I was talking about our new subdivision we're building and the one acre of land that it's going up on. One Acre?!?! Rrrrrreeeeeled you in. Apparently one acre isn't as big as I think it is. I don't know; I'm a city girl--I'm sorry, suburbanite. Everyone declared that was utterly impossible. I said, "Well, the lots are really small." right...that makes perfect sense. So, I looked at our brochure. Ummm, almost five acres! Geez. But I think I handled it well. I just laughed at myself. What else can you do?? I think it really added a whole new dynamic to my presentation. I think I might do that every time!
On a total sidenote, a kamikaze bird flew into my office and tried to commit suicide right in front of me by smashing his head into the windows. We finally picked him up with a towel and put him outside (for anyone who is terribly concerned about the bird); I think he's going to be okay. It made me think of the Office, and I laughed hard...once I got through the grief and the feeling of my heart being dropped into a bucket of boiling tears.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Happiness is just a curly fry away...
or so my arby's cup says.
So, I feel like I was just totally duped. Practically the only emails my mom sends me are weird forwards that she hasn't figured out yet are almost always full of crap someone just invented. Today, I fell for it.
5-ish Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do:
Did you know that cell phones have a special emergency number that will allow the phone to attempt emergency service on other networks? Did you know cell phones can act as a transmitter for remote entry to vehicles in case you lock your keys in your car and the backup set is with someone else? Did you know that cell phones have a magical backup battery that can be accessed simply by dialing a special, super-secret code? Did you know that you can disable your cell phone if it is stolen, so that the thief cannot use it? Did you know that there's a super-secret number you can call for FREE 411 (even though I'm pretty sure Cingular doesn't charge you)? Did you know that your cell phone can act a taser by dialing a special passcode set up by you in case someone tries to mug you in a dark alley? Did you know that certain cell phones have been known to cure cancer as soon as a sick person touches it and dials a special code, while simultaneously drinking from the fountain of youth?
Well, I didn't know it. For the record, I tried 2 & 3 without success, so I wouldn't try any of the others (although the last one sounds believable, more believable than a cell phone possessing magical battery juice). But if you're really curious, you can read the email below. If any of these things were true, don't you think they would tell you when you sign up for a cell phone plan? I didn't think that as I was reading it, so who's the bigger idiot?
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhr2p994_1t2mnd
So, I feel like I was just totally duped. Practically the only emails my mom sends me are weird forwards that she hasn't figured out yet are almost always full of crap someone just invented. Today, I fell for it.
5-ish Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do:
Did you know that cell phones have a special emergency number that will allow the phone to attempt emergency service on other networks? Did you know cell phones can act as a transmitter for remote entry to vehicles in case you lock your keys in your car and the backup set is with someone else? Did you know that cell phones have a magical backup battery that can be accessed simply by dialing a special, super-secret code? Did you know that you can disable your cell phone if it is stolen, so that the thief cannot use it? Did you know that there's a super-secret number you can call for FREE 411 (even though I'm pretty sure Cingular doesn't charge you)? Did you know that your cell phone can act a taser by dialing a special passcode set up by you in case someone tries to mug you in a dark alley? Did you know that certain cell phones have been known to cure cancer as soon as a sick person touches it and dials a special code, while simultaneously drinking from the fountain of youth?
Well, I didn't know it. For the record, I tried 2 & 3 without success, so I wouldn't try any of the others (although the last one sounds believable, more believable than a cell phone possessing magical battery juice). But if you're really curious, you can read the email below. If any of these things were true, don't you think they would tell you when you sign up for a cell phone plan? I didn't think that as I was reading it, so who's the bigger idiot?
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhr2p994_1t2mnd
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Inaugural Post: Confessions of a Ford Focus Rental Driver
Well, I successfully rear-ended two cars in my Maxima and unsuccessfully attempted to knock an eighteen-wheeler off I-40 by ramming his back tires with the passenger side of my brand new Civic, all within the month of February. I win-- the self-proclaimed World's Worst Driver, though I doubt few would argue with me once presented with the full evidence.
Other highlights from the month of February involving cars and the Johnson family include:
the replacement of the power steering pump in the Maxima just prior to the trade-in-- $350
the theft and recovery of my sister's Mountaineer, total costs incurred-- $200
the towing of my parents' car from my sister's apartment complex during said recovery-- $200
having to replace the battery in the Maxima so I could take it to the dealership after trade-in papers had already been signed-- Priceless
Top it.
I can't honestly give an actual figure for the number of fixed objects and other vehicles I have hit. With vehicles, the number is somewhere around 5...oh wait, I just remembered backing into Brian Hirschy's car once, so 6. With the exception of Brian, I rear-ended all of them. I've been rear-ended once and had my side-view mirror exhumed by a flyaway piece of plywood, but the majority of my
accidents have been incurred by myself. And fixed objects... one can't be sure. And keep in mind that none of these occurred until college.
So, there it is-- all of my crap--at least in the context of driving. What does it all mean? It means that all of us have crap in our lives that we usually don't tell anyone about. This is me telling all of you out there in the www that I'm a work in progress, and don't forget to ford focus while driving.
Other highlights from the month of February involving cars and the Johnson family include:
the replacement of the power steering pump in the Maxima just prior to the trade-in-- $350
the theft and recovery of my sister's Mountaineer, total costs incurred-- $200
the towing of my parents' car from my sister's apartment complex during said recovery-- $200
having to replace the battery in the Maxima so I could take it to the dealership after trade-in papers had already been signed-- Priceless
Top it.
I can't honestly give an actual figure for the number of fixed objects and other vehicles I have hit. With vehicles, the number is somewhere around 5...oh wait, I just remembered backing into Brian Hirschy's car once, so 6. With the exception of Brian, I rear-ended all of them. I've been rear-ended once and had my side-view mirror exhumed by a flyaway piece of plywood, but the majority of my
accidents have been incurred by myself. And fixed objects... one can't be sure. And keep in mind that none of these occurred until college.
So, there it is-- all of my crap--at least in the context of driving. What does it all mean? It means that all of us have crap in our lives that we usually don't tell anyone about. This is me telling all of you out there in the www that I'm a work in progress, and don't forget to ford focus while driving.
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